It’s been a bit of a tradition to look back at the year that was and towards the new year to come. Last December we fondly remembered the decade that came before and were anxiously looking forward to what the next would bring. Twelve months later all I see are messages of distain over the year that was. We certainly didn’t expect the 2020 that unfolded but we can’t agree with the sentiment of good riddance, and thank God it’s over.
Alan Watts famously said there is no good without the bad - there is no rideable, beautiful crest, on top of a wave without the harsh undertow that can pull you under. How we transition between the two simultaneous states of existence determines who and how we are. The undertow of 2020 was strong but not overwhelming enough to discount the amazing crests we got to ride. It’s easy to focus on the negatives if your only data points are social media and headlines but that isn’t the accurate picture of the last 356 days.
Of course plenty of things didn’t go as expected. Businesses closed, plans were changed or canceled, and most of the world was left locked down at home for months on end. It would have been easy to give up or give in to the despair but life isn’t what happens to you - it’s what you make of it. When the undertow presents itself you get back up and find the crest.
Logan’s school closing finally gave us the time to do all the silly science experiments Bill Nye taught me as a kid. Restaurants closing provided opportunities to try new recipes. Park closures lead to new friendships with the neighbors in our building and playdates in the garden. As the summer days wore on parents could be spotted enjoying a nice glass of wine while the kids played together.
Gym closures allowed Doreen and I to workout together again - something we enjoyed doing in CA and have missed since moving to Berlin. All the time saved on commuting and going from place to place allowed us to catch up on the long list of books, movies, TV shows, and video games that we always wanted to read/view/play but just couldn’t find the time.
It wasn’t all about lockdowns and quarantines. In January we got to travel back to Chamonix. Logan got so good on the slopes that our next outing will likely involve a chairlift and more then just the bunny hill. Doreen got to visit our old stomping grounds in LA while I got to travel to the UK, Denmark, and Helsinki for work. In July we got to visit Oma and Opa where Logan had his first parentless overnight visit at their house and in September we actually got to take our postponed summer vacation tour of the Ionian Islands in Greece. We made good use of the opportunities to get out of Berlin that were presented to us.
Of course we had hardships, just like the rest of the world, but we chose to focus on what we could control - we aren’t victims of circumstance, we’re champions of adjustment. When Logan looks back on 2020, many years from now, he’ll remember baking with Mommy, video games with Daddy, learning to ride a bike, looking at the stars, and all the time we spent together as a family. He won’t fixate on Covid or political & social turmoil and neither should we.
Obviously 2020 had plenty of thought provoking and socially jarring moments that will forever be in the zeitgeist of the human experience. Like the turbulent 60’s of a generation before there will be lessons learned from this year that will ripple for decades to come. But just like the decision to focus on the crest over the undertow, we have it within ourselves to be the implements of change over the cavalier criticizer. Life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening all around us.
As the Christmas season was getting into full swing this year Logan expressed to me how he couldn’t wait till Christmas. A common sentiment for a six year old but something that took me back to a conversation I had with my Grandma when I wasn’t much older than him. I expressed something similar to her about wanting time to go faster so I could get to the part I thought I would enjoy better and she said “...never wish time away, it is a precious gift that you can’t refill.”
2020 wasn’t a miserable, no good, very bad year that needs to be forgotten. It was a year that tested all of us, full of experiences we didn’t expect. But if you look closely you might just see the beauty in the crests that the undertow helped create. At least that’s how we’ll remember it!
Happy New Year!
The McNeills